Analogesic

I'd like to compare my new job to a hamburger, but not just any hamburger. I'm talking the kind of hamburger that you order thinking, "I am SOOOO hungry. Find me the biggest hamburger you have, and then double the size of it. Put every topping you have on it, because I'm gonna eat it all."

The waiter walks away, and then 15 minutes comes back with the biggest burger you ever saw. As he approaches you think, "Ah, just the big burger I was looking for!" However, as the burger gets closer you start to realize the actual proportions.

"No problem, I can do this...just gotta loosen the belt," I think to myself. So I pick up the burger, barely able to hold it in two hands. Where do I bite first? Seems like no matter which angle I start at, the burger will probably shoot out the other side. Eventually, I'll just take a bite, "Not bad, I'm off and running, I'll kill this baby off in no time. What do they have for dessert?"

Then I realize some ketchup is running down my arm. Uh-oh, some burger toppings fell out and hit the plate. "Well, if I can at least eat the meat and roll, I'll call that a win." Ack, the structural integrity of the bun can't sustain this monstrosity! People that originally thought I could eat the burger are wondering if I can do it. Did someone just nudge my arm to try to knock the burger apart? I better eat faster! Am I feeling nauseous?

And now I just realized I didn't even notice the grad school...I mean side of fries.

Still hungry? I am.